Monday, October 29, 2012

new attitude.

Another man-style post for ya...





Scarf: Uganda, Coat/Shoes: Urban Outfitters, Shirt/Vest: Thrifted, Pants/gloves: H&M, Socks: Target, Watch: Nordstrom.

Ok you guys..... this is crazy.
How did my 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband book know that I've been having some minor depression/baby blues????
This weeks wow assignment is called "New Attitude". 
The chapter begins with a story of two twin boys; an optimist and a pessimist. 
A psychiatrist puts the pessimist in a room full of new toys only causing tears and fear of breaking the them. The psychiatrist then treated the optimist by putting him in a barn piled high with manure. Yes, manure. 
The optimist yelped in delight and started digging out scoops of manure with his bare hands. Baffled, the psychiatrist asked the boy what he was doing.
The boy beamed in response and said "With all this manure, there must be a pony in here somewhere!"

The point of this intro is to prove how your outlook on life (in general) influences your response to circumstances.
The wow assignment is to first, acknowledge that depression can way heavy on a marriage. Men want to fix things, so when his wife is sad all the time he feels the need to hold her up. Yes, spouses are supposed to help each other, but when one is losing it all the time the other one feels the burden of managing the spouse, the house, the job, the kids. And eventually he will grow weary. Take an honest look at yourself and admit when you are being a downer. Nip it in the bud and take action to improve your own mental and emotional wellness, which will then improve your marriage too. See a doctor, exercise, pray, etc.-- take back your happiness!

As I've written before, Jesus is the only one that can bring you true joy and contentment. Plan a simple date with your man and share with him that you are taking action to get your joy back. Take him off the hook! God gave you your husband to be your partner. Not your therapist and not the one responsible for making you happy. "Use this date to thank him for caring, but free him from the pressure of having to make you happy".

Do I need to remind you why this will be hard for me this week? (read about my downer-ness here).
I think I do a pretty good job of sharing my feelings with Ian without begging him to make things better. But whenever I have a meltdown, I can see the worry in his eyes.
I plan to continue sharing my cares and burdens with him, but promise to not have expectations of him making me happy. There are some things in life that I need to talk about with a person to get advice, but that doesn't always have to be my husband. Look for a mentor in your life that you can share with without burdening them .

But you oh Lord, are a shield around me,
my glory, the One who lifts my head high.
-Psalm 3:3

How did the assignment of saying "Yes" from last week go? 
Ian didn't ask for much, so I took the initiative by suggesting we watch a movie. A non-girly movie.
His eyes lit up in delight because I usually hate watching movies (I can't sit still for more than 20-30 mins, so I prefer TV with commercial breaks). 
I will continue to say yes more often.
I love this girl's post about how saying yes to her husband looked last week-- inspiring! 

8 comments:

  1. Okay, I'm not going to lie, the whole pants tucked into his socks thing? A little weird for me LOL. But hey, what do I know? SO not a fashionista :)

    I love the wifey-wisdom. Our husbands are not our Jesus. And they'll never live up to that expectation- however unintended it may be. I struggle with the same thing! It's okay to be sad, and it's okay to share those with our hubbies, but what you said is so true! Optimism wins :)

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  2. So true. Thanks for the reminder - sometimes its too easy to see the glass half empty.

    www.domesticatedworkingwoman.blogspot.com

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  3. I like the idea of a new attitude. After two weeks home with the new baby, and still struggling with my c-section wound, I'm feeling some baby blues too. But it's time to adopt a new attitude.

    Wow. I like this guy's style! The vest is genius.

    Girlie Blog Seattle | Cheap Makeup Reviews

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  4. the "yes" assignment has been great. i LOVE this, sarah. thank you for challenging us to pour into our marriage. i've been down a lot, too, lately. what you said about our husbands wanting to lift us up is so true. it's really hard on jay when i'm mopey all the time.

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  5. ahh so happy i found your blog!
    i'm following you now :)
    i love all your posts! i just went through about 20 of them haha

    happyleeliving.blogspot.com

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  6. I'm here from Dearest Lou and I'm now following :) I love the guy's outfit. I wonder when I could ever get the boyf to wear something similar!

    xo,
    janmloves.blogspot.com
    I'm having a giveaway on my blog if you're interested :)

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  7. I wish my husband would be still enough to strike a few poses for me. Lucky you! He's adorable and looks great!

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