Thursday, October 25, 2012

the baby blues.

Sweater: Zara thrifted, Blouse: thrifted, Shorts: f21, Shoes: Trouve from Nordstrom, Bracelets: f21, Watch: JCPenney, Earrings: Old Navy

I'm self diagnosing a mild case of the baby blues over here...
I was warned this might happen.
I tend to be somewhat of a pessimist. I call myself a realist, but deep down I know I'm just a downer sometimes.
This isn't great of me, but my motto is "Hope for the best, but expect the worst." So, knowing this about myself, Ian and I were both a little concerned I'd develop Postpartum Depression which is much worse than baby blues.
Luckily, I'm doing just fine, but every once in a while I just cry for no reason. 
Ian is like, "What is it, honey? You can tell me." 
And I'm like, "It's really nothing I'm just sad."
And I almost always feel empty and dry-- especially when I'm nursing! (I told Ian that I'm like physically and mentally thirsty when I'm feeding Greyer... it's weird.)
Has this happened to any of you?
Even though it's normal, I feel so embarrassed!
I'm literally the happiest I have ever ever been.
My life is so full of love and life.
And here I am appreciating it all yes, but just feeling lonely and sad inside.
I am trying to soak up as much of Jesus as I can, but that joy lasts only for a moment these days.
This isn't a cry for help, really. I am fine. I just don't like the way sadness feels. Especially when it's there for no reason other than hormones.

P.S. Tomorrow is CopyCat Friday! I will be choosing one of your looks to feature over the weekend, so get snappin'!


  1. My son is six months old, and I felt the same way you do after I had him. Empty is the perfect word. I was so happy yet I felt like something was missing. I cried every day when my husband came home because I knew he was going to have to go back to work the next day. I felt a little lonely even though my mom was there. Don't worry; it will pass! I felt much better about two or three weeks after he was born. God will get you through! :)

  2. Weird things happen when you have a baby :) My daughter is 20 months old & I still do this. Having a baby changes you :)

  3. Oh! And I failed to mention in my last comment that you look AMAZING after having little Greyer.

  4. First off, you look fab. Right back in those pre-pregnancy clothes!

    Second, the thing that helped me the most was to hang out with other moms. I didn't do this for the first few months after B was born cause I just felt like it was easier to just stay at home and keep him on a schedule. But once I found a few good friends and we hung out with our babies (even though they were too little to play together), I felt so fulfilled. You need that mom to mom interaction just as much as you need interaction with your baby and interaction with your husband. Especially because the other moms have gone through the same thing and are a great support system. Hope you have some or can find some women like that! Good luck and hope the baby blues pass quickly!

  5. I definitely understand some of what you feel. I actually wrote a post on a similar subject recently ( Just know that it will pass and you'll feel settled and filled soon. :)

  6. Firstly, you look absolutely AMAZING.
    Secondly, my first week home with baby was just like that. I felt so lonely and sad, even though I really was truly happy about being a mommy. But thankfully it passed quickly. I hope it passes just as quickly for you!!

  7. I could probably write a book on this very thing. I think I barely got out of it at six months. Ruth still doesn't really sleep (last night she slept for five hours in a row...then woke up with tremors and a fever and then off to the ER we went...but alas, she slept five straight hours!!!!).

    I cried everyday for two months and had panic attacks every night when it would get dark because I so feared the nights. I am praying you don't have it like I did and that your soul starts soaring. It is the hardest thing to ever be done (next to Jesus' death. I think this is how we identify as women with his sacrifice).

    love you girl. Praying.

  8. Ugh, my baby is a year old and I just started feeling this same way. I hate it! And I don't think I can blame it on hormones haha. I hope you feel better soon!

  9. First off, you look just beautiful!!! Since I have never had a baby and those close to me who have never went through any baby blues or postpartum I can't relate on a personal level, but I think we can all sometimes relate to that feeling of just simply feeling sad and for no reason at times, I can, and I just know you will get through all of is normal and I respect your openness and honesty! Sounds like you have a wonderful support in your hubby too! Big hugs!!! <3

  10. you need to DRINK A TON of water when nursing. you probably feel that way because he literally IS depleting you. Don't sit down until you have a HUGE glass of water with you and drink drink drink. I promise you is gets better and is 120% worth it :) love you. call me if you need anything!

  11. It's okay. It really, really is. And it will also get better.

    Looking gorgeous!

  12. I'm not going to tell you that it's normal, because it doesn't make you feel better. I'm not going to say "you'll feel better soon," because you may not. It may take a while. I fell into a deep depression when I had Number One 3 years ago, and didn't finally come out of it until Number Two was born last August. The only thing I can really say is that it is going to get better... eventually, and if you feel like its getting out of control, make sure you call your doctor.
    I hope you feel better soon.

  13. You look amazing, motherhood seems to agree with you! I've never had children, but have had some friends with postpartum and it was rough for them as well. It just takes time to work itself out and sometimes it's ok to just be sad. Maybe it would be helpful to find a new mothers group to have other woman to talk to that are going through the same thing? As long as you remember how blessed you are to have such a beautiful baby boy and an amazing husband. It will get better :)

  14. You might feel sad but you look bangin!! I don't have a child and I can't say I know how you're feeling but recently I've had a couple days where I was just sad and feeling down. Just remember you're not alone :) And you're inspiring for when I do have a child and hopefully can get right back into fashion blogging, not to mention pre-pregnancy clothes!!

  15. I can't really offer any insight, but you look AMAZING. I love the shorts and no freaking way did you just have a kid. You look fantastic!
    xo Josie

  16. Girlie you look so good! Can't believe you just had a baby! I can relate. I haven't had a baby, but I refer to myself as a "realist" as well. I often find myself getting down and sad, but all I can do is turn to Jesus. So thankful we have him! xoxo

  17. I know I am echoing the same sentiments here but... 1) You look incredible! Seriously, I thought that you HAD to have taken these pictures like 10 months ago. 2) I'll be praying for you. I can only imagine what a strange feeling it must be to be experiencing the happiest time of your life, but feeling so blue.

  18. You are so normal, don't worry! :) My best friend actually got quite depressed every time she nursed - and only when she nursed. So it could be a hormonal thing. I know it feels very permanent, but things will feel more normal - well, a new normal, and you will feel like yourself again, it just takes time.

  19. Don't worry. You are not depressed. I also cried after my first was born. Everyone does it. Is this really your post partum body? NO FAIR! You look like you did before - petite and pretty.

    Girlie Blog Seattle | Cheap Makeup Reviews

  20. i hope you start feeling better soon honey! i'm sure it will come with time!


    Fashion Fractions

  21. SOOOOOOOOO normal. I think a lot of mommies just don't talk about it which is incredibly silly because we all experience it in some way (our third girl is due this Feb). Plus how can we keep our emotions completely straight when we aren't really sleeing! All in all, know that you having feelings of sadness DOES NOT make you ungrateful or any less stoked on your new addition and what you do have! Thanks for sharing. I'm enjoying following your blog.

  22. You ARE normal! For the first two weeks of my son's life, my husband would come home from work and I would cry for the next hour, every.night. For me, it was the fact that my whole world changed. So so much ahead, could I handle it all? I always refer back to Fleetwood Mac's lyrics "Can I handle the seaons of my life?...I don't know" and seriously, I don't know. If I start to think about it, my stomach becomes heavy and my body tingles. What is ahead? I don't know and that's what's scary. But as time goes by, the blues fade and you're left with ONLY happiness and no worries. Keep your head up, it looks like you're doing a good job so far :)

  23. I love that you are honest about this on your blog! I do not have kids, but I was just talking to a friend last night and she shared with me her story of the baby blues. She would feel lonely and sad and would cry at night because she dreaded thinking about the next morning when her husband would leave for work again. I find it interesting that it seems to be a dread about something that's going to happen several hours later that causes most women to be fearful or sad. She also said that she couldn't sing to her baby for almost 6 or 7 months...she couldn't explain it except to say that it didn't feel right until her baby blues passed. I hope yours don't last very long! I'll be praying for you for sure. And you look fantastic by the way! :)

  24. Hey, just found your blog, and I LOVE your honesty.
    The baby blues are hard. It's such a big transition/adjustment bringing a new little life into your already existent life.
    Just remember that those feelings are so completely normal.
    I found it helped to have someone there, just for the company...
    and take time out for YOU during those first few weeks/months. So important.
    It looks like you're an amazing mama. :)