Frills for Thrills: October 2012

love these glasses!

fearne cotton sunglasses by miu miu.

buy them here.

new attitude.

Another man-style post for ya...

Scarf: Uganda, Coat/Shoes: Urban Outfitters, Shirt/Vest: Thrifted, Pants/gloves: H&M, Socks: Target, Watch: Nordstrom.

Ok you guys..... this is crazy.

How did my 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband book know that I've been having some minor depression/baby blues????

This weeks wow assignment is called "New Attitude".

The chapter begins with a story of two twin boys; an optimist and a pessimist.

A psychiatrist puts the pessimist in a room full of new toys only causing tears and fear of breaking the them. The psychiatrist then treated the optimist by putting him in a barn piled high with manure. Yes, manure.

The optimist yelped in delight and started digging out scoops of manure with his bare hands. Baffled, the psychiatrist asked the boy what he was doing.

The boy beamed in response and said "With all this manure, there must be a pony in here somewhere!"

The point of this intro is to prove how your outlook on life (in general) influences your response to circumstances.

The wow assignment is to first, acknowledge that depression can way heavy on a marriage. Men want to fix things, so when his wife is sad all the time he feels the need to hold her up. Yes, spouses are supposed to help each other, but when one is losing it all the time the other one feels the burden of managing the spouse, the house, the job, the kids. And eventually he will grow weary. Take an honest look at yourself and admit when you are being a downer. Nip it in the bud and take action to improve your own mental and emotional wellness, which will then improve your marriage too. See a doctor, exercise, pray, etc.-- take back your happiness!

As I've written before, Jesus is the only one that can bring you true joy and contentment. Plan a simple date with your man and share with him that you are taking action to get your joy back. Take him off the hook! God gave you your husband to be your partner. Not your therapist and not the one responsible for making you happy. "Use this date to thank him for caring, but free him from the pressure of having to make you happy".

Do I need to remind you why this will be hard for me this week? (read about my downer-ness here).

I think I do a pretty good job of sharing my feelings with Ian without begging him to make things better. But whenever I have a meltdown, I can see the worry in his eyes.

I plan to continue sharing my cares and burdens with him, but promise to not have expectations of him making me happy. There are some things in life that I need to talk about with a person to get advice, but that doesn't always have to be my husband. Look for a mentor in your life that you can share with without burdening them .

But you oh Lord, are a shield around me,

my glory, the One who lifts my head high.

-Psalm 3:3

How did the assignment of saying "Yes" from last week go?

Ian didn't ask for much, so I took the initiative by suggesting we watch a movie. A non-girly movie.

His eyes lit up in delight because I usually hate watching movies (I can't sit still for more than 20-30 mins, so I prefer TV with commercial breaks).

I will continue to say yes more often.

I love this girl's post about how saying yes to her husband looked last week-- inspiring!

featured copycat!

OK... I was majorly impressed with all of your looks from yesterday!!!

I don't know why I decided to feature just one of you because I seriously couldn't decide...

After MUCH debate (trust me, you guys are goooooood) I landed on Lindsay's look from Lindsay J Everyday.

I love the girly pinkness-- fun but sophisticated with the white collared shirt popping out!

Be sure to go visit Lindsay's blog for great style inspiration!

And thank you all for participating.

I will be picking another one of you next month.

CopyCats Week 12.

I would first like to say a big thank you for all your encouraging and supportive comments and emails yesterday. They meant so much to me and although I'm not glad that there are others going through some mild depression, it makes me feel less alone in mine : )

Now for this week's CopyCat look!

I pinned this a while ago and ended up finding a similar sweater at Urban Outfitters, so I thought I'd give this look a try...

via

Sweater: Urban Outfitters, Leggings: YesStyle, Boots: Kohls, Belt: Thrifted.

Now that I see the pictures side-by-side, I realize I look nothing like the girl above. And our sweaters, although both red, look nothing alike and I like hers way better.

Dizzang!!

I am loving the cozy casual look though!

Let's see your looks!

Remember to add the button below to your post if you are participating.

And remember that I will be choosing one of you to feature over the weekend!

<div align="center"><a href="http://frills4thrills.blogspot.com/p/copy-cats.html" title="FrillsforThrills CopyCats"><img src="http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g146/sarah_christine122/Picture6-1-2.png" alt="FrillsforThrills CopyCats" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

the baby blues.

Sweater: Zara thrifted, Blouse: thrifted, Shorts: f21, Shoes: Trouve from Nordstrom, Bracelets: f21, Watch: JCPenney, Earrings: Old Navy

I'm self diagnosing a mild case of the baby blues over here...

I was warned this might happen.

I tend to be somewhat of a pessimist. I call myself a realist, but deep down I know I'm just a downer sometimes.

This isn't great of me, but my motto is "Hope for the best, but expect the worst." So, knowing this about myself, Ian and I were both a little concerned I'd develop Postpartum Depression which is much worse than baby blues.

Luckily, I'm doing just fine, but every once in a while I just cry for no reason.

Ian is like, "What is it, honey? You can tell me."

And I'm like, "It's really nothing I'm just sad."

And I almost always feel empty and dry-- especially when I'm nursing! (I told Ian that I'm like physically and mentally thirsty when I'm feeding Greyer... it's weird.)

Has this happened to any of you?

Even though it's normal, I feel so embarrassed!

I'm literally the happiest I have ever ever been.

My life is so full of love and life.

And here I am appreciating it all yes, but just feeling lonely and sad inside.

I am trying to soak up as much of Jesus as I can, but that joy lasts only for a moment these days.

This isn't a cry for help, really. I am fine. I just don't like the way sadness feels. Especially when it's there for no reason other than hormones.

P.S. Tomorrow is CopyCat Friday! I will be choosing one of your looks to feature over the weekend, so get snappin'!

my boyz.

So in love with my guys!

Snuggling with Gunner:

After his first bath:

First time on stage:

After reading my birth story someone asked how Ian has handled the whole parenthood thing so far.

Let me just say that he is the best dad ever.

I always knew he was good with kids, but he seemed nervous around babies.

Even he was unsure of how he'd handle a newborn...

Yes, he cried when Greyer was born.

Yes, he thinks Greyer is the cutest thing ever.

Yes, he always kisses Greyer goodbye and wants to hold him the second he gets home from work.

Yes, he changes diapers all the time. And even in the middle of the night.

Ian is the most loving and patient dad I have ever seen. And he is so "into" everything about having a son and being a new dad. I am so blessed by him. He continues to impress me. And I want Greyer to be like his dad in every way.

Thank you Lord for my two (three if you count my little doggy) amazing boys!!

P.S. CopyCat Friday is this week and remember that I am going to choose one of your looks to feature over the weekend!

saying yes.

Necklace: BCF, Chambray: thrifted, Cardigan: Old Navy, Pants: Levi's, Shoes: Trouve from Nordstrom, Purse: D&B

Remember that project I started last Monday to better love my husband?

The assignment was to make space for him to rest and take a break from the honey-do list.

Did you participate too? How'd it go?

Like I said in that post, I knew it was going to be a challenge for me since we were just starting week two as parents. But, I used that to my advantage by going straight to the kitchen after Greyer's morning feeding (that he sleeps right after so my hands were free) to make some breakfast for my lover before he even knew I was up!

I made him a little breakfast sandwich and coffee just the way he likes it-- with lots of cream-- and delivered it to him on a tray in bed.

He acted surprised (even though I know he read my blog about it ahead of time) and I played along.

Then I rubbed his shoulders.

He'd been wanting to watch the season premier of his favorite show so we made plans to have a lazy day watching our shows on our laptops (box-shaped).

I also purposed not to make any nagging remarks about him being on his phone (also box-shaped) as much as I usually do. I'm not sure he noticed that one, but I think I'll stick to it : )

This weeks assignment is to say yes to your husband as much as possible.

As long as what he suggests is "not immoral, illegal, or life-threatening, say yes."

The author addresses the possible issue of your husband being afraid to ask you for anything because he is used to getting shot down by your predictable answer of no.

If this is the case in your relationship, offer to do that one thing he used to ask of you.

Make your yes more believable by telling him you already freed up your schedule to make time for him.

Make the first move and offer to go on a run with him, watch that movie with him, or work on the yard with him.

It's not too late to join me in better loving the men in our lives. Will you try this at least once with me?

Are you totally lost and have no idea what I'm talking about? Read about it here.

Here's a pic of me and my cutie boy at the donut shop on his one week birthday:

Also, CopyCat Friday is this Friday!

mommy must-have.

As you may have gathered from reading my birth story, I am an obnoxiously modest person.

I wear tank tops and two pieces, but when it comes to the exposure of private parts, I just want to cringe.

Breast feeding in a public place still freaks me out a little, but ever since I started using this coverlet from Pretty Well Covered, I feel more confident about it all!

When I asked Ian to take these pictures he was like "Oh is it for that thing you're wearing? I like it. It's really pretty."And that is exactly how I feel wearing it-- pretty.

Nursing seems somewhat animalistic to me, so the fact that I can wear a coverlet that looks more like something from my closet and less like my grandma's apron really glams up the whole thing for me.

Here's me wearing it:

I chose the black one in a size small because, since it is sheer, I thought it would be a bit more discreet than the light colored coverlets. At least for me it is.

I love that I can still see Greyer and that he can see me through the breathable sheer fabric.

It's really easy to slip on and off and there isn't a ton of extra fabric like those apron-y kinds which frees up room in my diaper bag.

As if all of that isn't reason enough for you to get one for yourself, Pretty Well Covered is offering free shipping for Frills readers when you use the coupon code: SHIPF4T

You're welcome.

Black and white stripes aren't your thing?

Check out the pink and white stripes or any of the pretty floral options.

the hardest part about being a mom.

Sweater: Zara thrifted, Striped top: forever 21, Necklace: Burlington Coat Factory, Boots: DSW, Purse: D&B

I know it has only been eleven days since I became a mom, but I'm already learning so so much!

I have to brag on my little boy a little and tell you how angelic he is.

He sleeps all the time.

The doctor told me not to let him go more than four hours without eating, so I have to wake him up once in the middle of the night, but I bet he would keep sleeping if I let him.

Ian and I just feel SO blessed to have such an easy baby so far... Praise the Lord!!!

Also, breast feeding has been way easier and less gross than I thought it was going to be. So that's great!

The only thing is that he hates being naked, so he pretty much always screams whenever we change him.

That all being said, parenthood is just not as hard as I thought it was going to be (at least at this point).

The hardest part by far-- and I'm about to get really personal here-- has been managing time with extended family.

Even before Greyer (pronounced gray-er btw) was born, our parents began asking how often they would see him since they are both about an hour and a half away. They asked how often I would go down there and when they could come up here... and frankly, I was/am feeling a tad overwhelmed by it all.

I am so so so blessed with a loving family that wants to be involved in my life, but I feel like I'm just failing everyone by needing time to get to know my boy on my own.

Everyone wants more time with him and it's only been a week and a half!

We've had SO many visitors since he's been born and I've never felt so loved and cared for.

But I guess I'm just tired and want some time getting to know my new little family of three. Just us.

It's hard to say no to love and attention, but I feel like it needs to be ok for me to do that without feeling like the bad guy or like what I'm giving is never enough.

Like I said, this is all stuff we've already talked with our family about and since we have the first/only grandchild in the state we are all learning how to balance our time together.

And c'mon, if this is the hardest part of parenthood it's really not that bad : )

birth story.

Greyer Smith Nelson was due on Saturday, October 6, 2012.

He sure did procrastinate, but he ended up coming right on time!

Here's how it happened:

On Thursday the 4th, I went in for my 40 week appointment and was still 0 centimeters dilated and 70% effaced (which I'd been for two weeks). Not only that, but Greyer's head was off to the right of my pelvis, not the least bit engaged.

My wonderful doctor said that was a bit concerning for being this far along...

He said if the baby's head isn't engaged by this point, there is usually a reason and that reason is usually either because the baby's head is too big to fit, or that the mother's pelvis is too small or misshapen.

We discussed, and even scheduled, a c-section for Monday the 8th since he would be on call at the hospital and I would be past my due date.

The reason behind scheduling a c-section so soon after my due date versus waiting it out a little longer was because with the baby's head not in place, you run the risk of birthing the umbilical chord if your water breaks which is super dangerous.

I was a tad discouraged, but honestly relieved at the idea of a scheduled c-section.

I've been through major spinal surgery before, so the operating room doesn't scare me one bit. Aaaand, going into this pregnancy/delivery thing I've held everything with a loose grip knowing that even with a written plan, there are no guarantees.

Plus, having a baby was my goal. Not getting him here according to a plan.

Part of that is because I'm a bit unpredictable when it comes to pain tolerance and things like that. But it mostly has to do with the fact that I wanted to be open to whatever it took to get him here safely.

So a c-section it was!

Or so we thought...

I started having contractions that Thursday night!!!

And they were regular at about ten minutes apart.

They grew stronger and stronger as the night went on, and I was moaning and groaning all night long.

I didn't fall asleep until around 7:00 am on Friday morning and the contractions mostly went away that day. Until about 7:00 pm. And this time they were MUCH more intense but some were 3 minutes apart and some were 18 minutes apart. We were both bummed because every time we called the hospital (about six times between both nights) they told us not to come in until they were consistently 5 minutes apart (which we knew, but we were nervous about my "situation" of the baby's head not being in place).

Finally, at about 3:00 am on Saturday morning we got permission from our doctor to go to the hospital to "at least get something for the pain".

We were thrilled because we didn't know how I'd make it like this until my c-section on Monday.

So, we grabbed our hospital bags that had been ready for weeks (just in case) and headed on over.

Driving to the hospital was not at all like I'd imagined it being...

I always pictured my water breaking in the middle of the night and waking Ian to say "This is it!"

Then we'd rush to the hospital breathing through contractions.

The nurse would greet me with a wheelchair and I'd hop on, but it'd hurt because of everything going on down there. And then I'd start pushing.

But it wasn't like that at all.

We were both excited, but really calm trying not to get our hopes up that this was it.

But it was!

We checked into the hospital around 4:00 am and they checked all my stuff.

I was now 3 cm!

My contractions were still inconsistent, but since my blood pressure was high (apparently), the nurse said that was enough of a concern to keep me.

We were in that first room for about and hour and a half until a new nurse came in and asked if I was ready to start laboring...

I was like uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... you mean breathing and pushing for hours and hours????????

(Obviously I knew what laboring meant and always pictured myself doing it that way, but at this point I was mentally prepared for surgery... not that.)

I looked at Ian and we were like LET'S DO THIS!

That nurse was really annoying and made me wish I'd done a home birth for three reasons:

1.) She was SUPER chatty and telling me things about babies dying in hospitals because the mom lets him sleep in the narrow hospital bed with her, etc. And I also learned that her husband has red hair and is in the military. She was kind, but it was 5:30 in the morning and I hadn't slept in two days...

2.) She practically forced me to get into the tub. She asked me if I'd like to start in the tub and I said "I'd actually just like to lay down and rest. Maybe later." To which she replied, "Well now is the best time to get in the tub if you're going to at all. Most women find it relaxing." So I obliged.

3.) She made me feel completely stupid for being so modest by not completely opening the back of my gown before I got in the bed. And then proceeded to tell me about all the tattoos and piercings she's seen. I was not amused...

Luckily her shift was over by 7.

The tub felt good but the water was kind of dirty and the lights were so bright it was hard to relax. Plus, I just felt weird being so naked so I asked Ian to get my sports bra.

After about twenty mins in the tub we walked over to the room and crazy nurse gave me a disappointed look and said "you're done in the tub?"

I said yes and that I wanted to try to sleep a little.

She seemed annoyed and said "Well your best shot at sleeping was in the tub."

And I was just like no.

Our birthing suite was incredible!

It was dim lit and there was this TV channel playing nature scenes and spa-like music.

I thought I was walking into a massage room or something.

I laid down and shut my eyes. A few minutes later we were greeted by our new nurse, Jayme.

She was incredible and I love her.

She asked if I wanted the epidural and I said I was unsure and thought I might want to wait a little longer. She explained to me that if I was thinking of getting one at some point, I may as well do it now to relieve the pain and get some rest before the looong journey that was before me.

Ian reminded me that I hadn't slept in days and had felt it that whole time. And I was ready to be done with that pain, let me tell you!!!

The anesthesiologist came in shortly after and shot me up.

It kind of hurt, but after feeling those contractions all day and night, it didn't phase me much.

She had to try again because she'd accidentally run into a blood vessel or something.

This didn't concern me because they said in our birthing class that that happens sometimes.

She repositioned the thingy and all was good. And numb.

Yes, about ten minutes later, the bottom half of my body (waist down) was completely numb.

It was weird though because I could still move my legs and feel people touching them, but they were suuuuuuper heavy and kind of tingly.

But I slept so well for a couple hours.

Oh, and the doctor came in and broke my waters.

I don't know what time it was, but the sun was out and our family had arrived so maybe around noon??

The epidural stopped working and I was screaming.

The pain wasn't so much in my belly as it was in my privates.

All I wanted to do was push, but I was only 7 cm and they said my cervix was unevenly opening. So I think they tried to stretch it or something.

The new anesthesiologist came in because I was in the worst pain of my entire life ever.

She gave me an increased dosage and thirty minutes later it wasn't working.

More pain. More screaming. The breathing techniques did not help.

She took a look at the catheter in my back and discovered that it had hit a nerve and was too high up to do anything. Ian was mad about that and I was just like HELP MEEEEEEE.

She fixed it and I was pretty much good.

We said farewell to Jayme and hello to two new nurses at 7:00 pm. Their names were Zibby and Tami.

They were amazzzzzing.

Two hours later they told me I was fully progressed and ready to start pushing.

The initial numbness in my legs had worn off, so I felt ready to push and like I could actually feel what was going on down there.

They said most first-timers take about two hours to push. I looked at the clock (9:15) and was determined to do it faster!

I huffed and puffed with each contraction and Ian says I was sassing the nurses.

The truth is, I felt so out of it the whole time.

It was weird though because I was aware of everything going on and still remember conversations and sensations and everything in between. So, I don't know if my lethargy was from my lack of sleep or the epidural, but my guess is it was a combination of both.

An hour and a half later (10:47 pm) little Greyer slithered into the world-- on his due date!

That was the weirdest feeling I've ever experienced...

My hands were on my belly with the final push and I literally felt him (with my hands) move from the top of my torso to the bottom and my belly totally deflated along the way!

Ian cut the chord and they passed me my little guy.

They ripped off my gown and covered us with a warm blanket for our hour of skin-to-skin time.

He was pretty ugly at first, not gonna lie.

He totally had a cone head off to the left and was all purpley. Hahaha!

They made me nurse right away and it was whatever. Nothing worth noting.

We were exhausted and family came to visit.

I got up right away and walked to the bathroom with the nurses help.

That was weird because I thought that the epidural would paralyze me for hours, but I was fine and walking on my own!

By 3:00 am we were moved into the recovery room. We all slept great!

And here are some pictures from our stay at the hospital.

This was right after he was born:

Me and my best friend Summer holding each other's boys just five days apart! They are best friends too!

Snuggles with dad.

Kisses from mom.

Family.

Cutie.

And his first time in the car.

A couple things I'd like to note:

1.) I'm so glad I got an epidural.

2.) Because of my annoying nurse, I better understand the whole "Business of Being Born" perspective.

3.) But after her I seriously loved each of my nurses so much and I miss them and I just want to go back and hug them and say thank you!!! I kind of miss the hospital. And the ice chips!

I'm sure I left out a lot, and if you have any questions you can leave them in the comments. I'm pretty much an open book and would love to answer any questions you have about my experience!

wowing him.

Jacket: f21, Tee: Urban Outfitters, Jeans: H&M, Shoes: Urban Outfitters

Last time I posted about my husband, Ian, a couple of you mentioned that you'd love to see more of his outfits.

He thinks that's funny since he was wearing his "scrubs" in most of the pics (basketball shorts, tees, and slippers).

But since I think he has great style and love getting inspiration for him, I talked him into sharing some of his style with the rest of you : )

On the topic of my husband, one of my biggest fears with having a baby was that I'd love him less.

That all my attention and affection would be for my new baby.

It seems like that happens a lot, ya know?

I've seen a lot of young moms that seem so completely obsessed with their child (which I totally am by the way...) that the husband is kind of forgotten or something.

So, going into this whole parenting thing I was determined not to let that happen to me.

I believe that the best gift I could ever give my child is a healthy and thriving relationship between his parents and that needs to start the minute he is born if we ever want it to work!

I'm already feeling like I'm loving on Greyer so much that I end up giving my leftovers to Ian if anything at all.

The good news is that these pictures were taken on our date night a couple days ago. We'd only been parents for four days, but figured the sooner we left Greyer, the easier it would be to make time for each other in the future. So we left Greyer with my mom for an hour and headed to the cafe around the corner and talked about Greyer the whole time. I even cried because I missed him so much... hahaha.

Anywho, all that to say that I am starting a "project" today, to help love my husband better and never let that passion die.

Every Monday, for the next year, I will refer to a chapter in this book (don't mind the hideously cheesy cover) to guide me in specific ways to do so.

And I will be sharing those with you each week to keep me accountable!

If you have a significant other in your life, will you join me?

Even if you don't have a baby, our men always desire to be noticed and respected by his wife.

This week's chapter is called "The Recharger Box". All about how our husbands need to find rest in their wife. The author jokes that most men go to box-shaped things to recharge when he feels stressed out (i.e. the T.V., newspaper, garage, Xbox, the bed...)

The wow assignment this week is to find out what your husband's favorite easy box is and free him up to do whatever he wants. You could make it extra special by serving him breakfast in bed one day with a little thank you note for all he does and maybe even a gift card of some sort to push him to actually take the day off from the honey-do list-- guilt free!

This is going to be hard for me as we are only entering into week two of having a baby and I feel like I need all the help/extra arms I can get in order to get anything done myself.

This'll be good for both of us though because the more rested he is, the less stressed he will be, and the better he can help me and love me in the ways that I need too!

P.S. Birth story coming tomorrow!

Studs & Spikes.

Happy tuesday everyone!
Things are still busy over here with Greyer but still wanted to stop in and share some cute thigs I've found lately!

Generally speaking, the stud trend isn't really my thing, but after laying around on the couch for hours, prepping for baby, I actually found a few pieces that I love! Everything from women's shirts to shoes and everything in between... I guess I just like more of the colorful/feminine pieces. The all black with silver spikes kinda scares me a little.

So here are some of my "unexpected" studs and spikes picks: