Monday, January 21, 2013

love each other.









 Hat: H&M, Blazer: The Limited thrifted, Locket: Urban Outfitters, Shirt: Old Navy, Jeans: Kohl's, Bracelets&Shoes: f21

Mean girls.
You know some?
The girls you know are there but never acknowledge you. And when they finally surface they say some snarky one-liner behind the security and anonymity of their computer screen or cell phone.
There are a few ladies (#shoutouts!) that pop up around this here blog about once a year to correct, criticize, or judge me in the comments.
I always wonder why they keep coming back when they seem to dislike me/what I have to say so much.

We've all been a victim of that girl and we've all been that girl--whether past or present, to her face or under your breath, we're embarrassed to admit it but it's true, isn't it?

What is it inside of us that makes us think we lose something by promoting another woman?
Why are we nosy but uninvolved? 
Why does it pain us to see someone else be happy and to be happy for her?
And why is our natural defense mechanism to fight back when we feel victimized? 
Insecurity? 
Jealousy? 
Both equally venomous to the soul.

My mom always told me:
"Never hold back a kind word." 
"Always stay your sweet self." (her words, not mine. Aww...) and
"Kill 'em with kindness!"

Easier said than done because when you're the victim of a mean girl, your flesh turns you into one too! 

I know this post is random and jumbly, but to be honest, this post comes from my past experience as a  "victim" and wondering why I have such a hard time getting over it. 
Am I a fourteen year-old little girl that cares too much what people think of her? 
Sometimes I guess I am.
And I know you have moments like that too, which is why I'm hoping that we can begin to see each other as sisters. As teammates. 
Not as intimidation or competition.

Will you join me in my new years resolution to champion each other's beauty, creativity, and happiness? To encourage one another in times of insecurity and uncertainty?
I think we will all benefit from being both givers and receivers of kind words.

*P.S. CopyCat Friday is this week!


32 comments:

  1. I love reading your blog posts. I don't always comment, but it's refreshing to see something so encouraging on a blog. I think I need to start being more positive and I love the "never hold back a kind word" quote.

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  2. Amen girlfriend! Beth Moore does a great study on the inner mean girl. You should check it out. I loved it - could probably benefit from doing it again. I love you - you're beautiful inside and out and those girls are JEALOUS.

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  3. I love this outfit. I am going to try and copy cat it. ;) I love the saying "kill em with kindness" I totally agree.

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  4. This post really speaks to me, even in its randomness :-) Every time I catch myself wanting to say something nasty about someone I stop and think, "Wait. Even if you don't like this particular thing about her, there must be something she's good at. You might not even know what it is. So try not to judge her on one thing."

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  5. P.S. You look beautiful in these photos.

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  6. i feel ya girl. and that sounds like a wonderful plan. life is too short to be mean!

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  7. I completely agree Sarah, and often, too, feel I am the only that has a hard time getting over such things. I will join you in the new resolution! I think its a wonderful idea. We all need encouragement and to hear kind words from others.

    Thanks for sharing this with us :)


    Kylie

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  8. i am sensitive, so i'm constantly in my head about what or how other people think of me.... it's terrible, as i'm too old to really honestly care..

    but i do.. so know you are not alone!

    on another note, i love this outfit and those shoes!!! they don't look like they'd hurt your feet too much..

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  9. First off, great outfit. (:
    Second, I love this. I've also noticed many people, including myself, that struggle to be happy about others' happiness. We don't realize that the circumstance (a guy, new job, etc.) that is making them happy isn't necessarily what will make us happy at the time.
    So, I would love to join you in your resolution to encourage others. This is exciting. (:

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  10. i'm so glad you bring this up on your blog in such an honest way and with such a great call to action. you're a strong sister and i hope you stay your sweet self!

    i don't ever link back to my posts in comments, but i just wrote about sisterhood in blogging on my own blog last week and thought you might want to check it out.
    i believe [in sisterhood]
    xo
    nicole

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  11. sarah, i absolutely love this post!
    i can't believe there are girls who say mean things to you about your blog. i don't understand it. in my eyes your blog is just perfect! :)
    but i know what you mean about "we've all been there." because its true! i've seen people progress more than me in things such as jobs, school, weight loss, blogging, etc, etc, etc, and the emotion of jealousy is just natural. but i do want to be the kind of person who can always be happy for them :)
    i heard a quote once that said something about how sad it would be to have to take a sip of bitter juice every time you witness someone else being happy.
    and it's so true! feeling jealousy or bitterness over someone else's happiness is just a horrible place to be in.

    The DayLee Journal

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  12. I want to say "screw them" and move on...but I'm sensitive too and the "mean girls" know it :(

    Just know we love reading your blog, LOVE your style, and know we are all behind you!

    Maybe those girls will actually read this post and THINK about their actions next time...

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  13. Beautiful post Sarah. This is so true and all too common in the world today. I heard a message recently that talked about the way “we” (society) can build ourselves up. There are 2 ways to make oneself seem better 1). Make yourself appear higher or 2). Make others appear smaller. The latter seems to be the more common choice in our world today, but both are selfish and lead to perpetuating insecurity because you’re only finding worth in comparison to others. An alternate approach is to humble yourself. To take the way of the servant and put others above yourself. The beauty is that with this approach encouraging others actually fills you and you're able to find your worth from God's perspective.

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  14. I love your blog and respect how open you are on it! Rock on, lady!

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  15. I love your blog and how open you are on it, Rock on, Lady!

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  16. love the black and white -- this is a great classic look! xo

    http://allthingsprettyandlittle.blogspot.com/

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  17. I just typed like five different versions of a comment so I'm giving up. All I have to say is I LIKE this and it's always refreshing when I hear women talking about making commitments to be kind, supportive, and respectful of other women.

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  18. Loving your blog and your hair! Could you do another post about how you curl it?

    Maya

    http://foolishfrugalities.blogspot.com/

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  19. Mean girls. Ugh. I don't understand why people feel the need to go out of their way to say hurtful things. Never have, never will. Way to be strong, girl!

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  20. Great post, it's crazy that I teach 3rd graders not to bully, yet I see adult women needing the same lesson.

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  21. My question is who in the world would ever be so rude to you?? You are such a sweetheart! Ive never met you in person but i feel as if I've already known you forever! Thanks to this blogging outlet. I was at church on Sunday and heard your husband preach about compassion and being graceful and especially the part where he mentioned about how he watches his wife interact with their son and how much compassion naturally flows out of you. That made me smile. Im not sure why some girls are so mean and would say such negative things, it just shows that they have jealousy issues and i think thats a pretty common thing sadly to say but true. I have a couple friends who are always uncertain about the way they look and are always saying negative things and its so sad! I agree with you 100% about encouraging one another and constantly saying kind words and lifting each other up. Its so important! Words are so so powerful! Love this post and you are radiant! Glowing hot mama! Enjoy seeing your son grow..cutie.
    God Bless You Sarah

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  22. I haven't had any mean/nasty comments yet, but I am sure they are coming. I really don't understand why people feel the need to put others down or criticize. It's not easy exposing yourself on a blog like this- every.little.thing. can be criticized and it can be tough. Yay for you being a the bigger person and trying to focus on bringing other people up rather than down.

    PS- Awesome thrift find on that blazer- love it!

    Lindsay
    LindsayJEveryday.blogspot.com

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  23. Well put and great post on conquering your flesh when confronted by pettiness. Also, beautiful outfit and photos! You look classy and ready to take on the world!

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  24. 1 Cor 13:1 ... I always try to remember it (don't always succeed) but... I try. TO love like He loves and be kind always. Love this post!

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  25. you are so cute! love the outfit, where is that hat from? i love this resolution and this post.

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  26. Noone likes a mean girl and it never feels good... on either end. On a side note, I LOVE your outfit and your hair is just perfection!

    sarahjsee.blogspot.com

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  27. Such a great post! "which is why I'm hoping that we can begin to see each other as sisters. As teammates. Not as intimidation or competition" I love you for this! Seeing each other as teammates would be so refreshing. instead of competition! On a side note, your hair is GORGEOUS! Loving your outfit as well!

    XO, Kelsey

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  28. Great resolution! So sorry about those mean girls! You, of all people, deserve to be praised fo your blog! You always have gorgeous outfits and photos, and you and your family are so gorgeous too!! Glad you're taking the high road here!

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  29. I love the idea of banding together as women with a resolution to fight for each other and support one another in any way we can. I pray that for our gender and for this generation!

    And this outfit is amazing, so so pretty!!

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  30. Well said! I've seen so much negativity floating around the blogosphere, especially so in comment threads. My heart feels so sad when I see something mean posted in someone's comments. With the anonymity of the internet, it seems some people think they can rip others apart with no consequence. Good for you for promoting positivity - I'm with you 100%!

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  31. Loved this post! The clothes and your thoughts! Xo

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  32. My favorite one is "Kill 'em with kindness".
    I've always wanted to know why the haters keep coming back and saying mean things to people, but I soon realized that they're just looking for attention. Very sad, but totally true.

    p.s. i think this is my favorite of any ootd you've ever posted!

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